Humor Articles

I wrote these!

Daily Shouts (The New Yorker):
Your Handy Guide to the Dewey Decimal System

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency:
The Basic Types of Literary Conflict

HGTV Magazine’s “How Bad Is It?”

My New Phone

I Think We Should Touch the Giant Black Monolith On The Moon

Two Fifty One:

Dollar Store Superheroes

I’m Sorry to Ask This, but I’m Your Father, and Could You Please Respect Me?

Your Toddler’s Going to Be a Real Heart-Breaker!

As a Vaccinated Parent, I Just Remembered I Couldn’t Go Out in the First Place

What to Say at the Playground to Avoid Awkwardness

Quiz: Enoch Powell’s “Rivers of Blood” Speech, or The Rivers of Blood that Spilled out of My Wife the First Time She Stood Up After Childbirth

Points in Case:
When We Get Married, I Want to Take Your Last Name, Along with Your First Name, Middle Name, Social Security Number, and Dental Impressions

Proposed Rule Changes to the NBA

A One-Sided Conversation at a Grill That You Didn’t Start and Can’t Get Out of

New and Improved Musical Instruments for 2019

The Morning Moot:
The MPAA Should Put Maximum Age Ratings on Movies

Metropolis Philadelphia:
Inside the Magic Garden (Non-Fiction)